I find myself, driving around mindlessly with so many things on my mind. You say it was too soon for love, with your big brown eyes. I cant explain what you did to me because all i do is repeat and repeat but you dont listen, you just hear. I wish things had ended up differently and you felt good about being with me. Chance after chance with the same outcome and im still left here looking stupider than the last time. I wish i knew how you felt, i wished you poured your guts out to me like ive done for you. I wish you missed how goofy my hair looked in the morning, or how the freckles lined with my back, maybe my smile when you made a stupid joke. You never paid attention like me, thats something I’ll never forget. You’ve taken a piece of me with you, and you will forever have it. I could never hate you, or imagine doing the things you did to me, to you. I will always, love you. If you think its too soon, you’re right. And thats why its fucking crazy.
I keep repeating the pattern of not feeling good about myself so i confide in people who are broken, hurt, the people who need fixing. I cant go back to the same thing because i will only get the same outcome. Ive lived with a heart that only takes care of people and i put myself on the back burner. I will always always love and care about you. But you were the one who pushed me out when all i wanted to do was stay by your side.